Concurred, that you don't voice stupid after all. You appear to be a wise and you can careful people seeking to navigate one thing extremely humdrum. I'm thus sorry this is exactly taking place.
Offered everything you said in the effect such best friends and lives people, I do believe there is certainly a location for you contained in this discussion - if you need it. I will see retreating, out of discomfort and/otherwise value to possess their have to select which on his own. However, I additionally think it's fair to battle for this a great part. I believe it'd become fair to generally share your emotions (very harm, anticipated to spend rest of my entire life with you), inquire exactly how he could be effect and just what he could be thought (might you come across oneself because the going back forever?), suggest the guy consider going back, and attempt to manage to fit his need to go back for his son's purpose as lifetime lovers.
However, I feel including my personal opinion is within the "bargaining" stage whilst you seem like you will be mentally moving into this new sadness / grieving stage.